So again, I have a lesbian cow. Seems like every year I have a cow that prefers the love of another sexy cow. Not every day will cows jump on each other just for fun like they are in heat, but most days they will. So it’s really difficult to know when they are really in heat. Neighbors that come over say “you got a cow in heat” and I say “nope, they’re lesbians.” Then they nod and give me a story about their gay animals. I have found out through a number of stories, it is always better to have a gay milk cow than a gay bull. One of our Vernon County, Wisconsin farmers bought a young bull from a “bull guy” and put it in with a group of heifer so in a few months they should be all breed. He noticed the bull kinda stayed by himself a lot more than an average bull does, never seeing him get excited the whole first month. Than one day he got a call from the neighbor to come over – his bull was in with his group of heifers. When he got there, the bull was not interested in the ladies but he was, let’s just say VERY excited to be with his new guy friend. So needless to say he didn’t get any heifers breed and he was sold soon after.
Animals are funny, they don’t care who is watching them poop or just start humping your leg for no reason. It just funny to me that I have had explain these natural things to kids and adults from time to time. The other day at the elementary school I was explaining what my job was as a dairy farmer. The questions of “how do you tell the difference between a boy cow and a girl cow” and “how does a bull breed a cow” came up. These questions made me think of myself seeing my first calf born and all the questions of “how did that happen?” I’m not sure how old I was but I learn a lot that day and remember it like yesterday. My Dad was like Jack Hanna explaining the mating patterns of elephant in Africa, all the way to this wet slimy calf in front of me. My mind kept thinking about all the times cows were having sex and I didn’t even know it. Now today I’m in my Dad’s role of explain those birds and the bee’s questions. Although I may not be as scientific as he was, I am entertaining using my hands as example. So if the kids weren’t embarrassed enough by asking the question, they are afterwards. I don’t think I traumatize too many kids but maybe adults!